What does a Cow Moving Expert do you ask? Well, we in the business like to say that we move cows that may be infected with BSE to a new home quickly and decisively.
I did so well that a half-sheriff gave me a new job: Cow Moving Expert. Well I don’t mind if they get Stepsister Manwijf, but if they get to waitress Hot Body, I’m going crazy! So I grabbed my shotgun and shot their stinking ******** to shreds one by one, the only way to force those festering puss bodies to stop. Of course I stand in line with that Chinese man with the ugly stepsister of doctor Manwijf and…or was it just a Tourette Zombie? What the **** can I do! In that row I was interrupted by other Tourette Zombies, who were harassing people en masse. But not before I had been to the local Chinese, because I was hungry then at such a moment the dog can be beautiful. Once outside it was really time to rescue the dog. Manwijf, but as soon as they get to Nurse Lekkerbody, things get serious! My motto is ‘buy a dog, fillet a cat’ and I did just that with the scissors that I found ‘coincidentally’.Īnd then I suddenly got a headache there! The whole room changed color and all of a sudden out of nowhere all sorts of the filthy Gary Colemans came running at me! And not only that: those little ******* had scissors and hand grenades with them! But no matter how big they are, a Gary Coleman will never beat me and I’ve let them all know that! After many cats, Colemans and psychotic attacks, I finally got out, just before the whole hospital went up in flames. Look, I’m fine with that as long as they catch Dr. So I kicked that one in the ***!Īnyway, I work for my money, of course the totally unexpected weather happens (WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE WORLD THIS WEEK!?!): all the cats in the hospital run wild and start killing bystanders. Meanwhile, I ran into that damn Gary Coleman. Well girl, you already helped me more than you could have imagined! Like a migratory bird, I went on a trek to the migratory room. There I read that the hospital likes to do sperm research and then of course I’m not the dumbest! The friendly nurse told me that I had to go to a special room and if I wanted to know more, she couldn’t help me any further. So I’m on my way to rescue my dog, but I need money for that! So I just walked down the hall. Yep, I’m still alive and it hasn’t gotten any better in my absence! This lasted until doctor Manwijf woke me up for an *****…not that I stayed for that! I quickly grabbed my wife’s and ACME’s get well cards, only to find out that my ***** had left me (SHUT UP!), my trailer has been towed and my dog will be euthanized if I don’t pay within 24 hours. Īll’s well that ends well: I woke up in a bed with Postal Babe and my trusty dog beside me, while more Postal Babes were dancing seductively. So I grabbed my gun and was just about to take it out on the animals that are constantly ******** in my neglected backyard when it suddenly hit me deeply: my gun went off in my face and I was happily launched into dreamland. That **** of the past week (AND I HOLD YOU PARTICULARLY RESPONSIBLE FOR GARY COLEMAN!) had completely screwed me up, so I had to do something normal. What I experienced again today! Having spent the week chasing everything from video game haters to the entire army at the slightest ***** to that ***** of mine, it was time to relax a little last night. (Warning, the following piece of text may contain spoilers and foul language, so read at your own risk!)
In fact, Running With Scissors made an expansion: Apocalypse Weekend! Saturday Despite many negative statements after Postal and a new wave of indignation for the release of Postal 2, the latter came anyway.
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